Doorbells, Dishtowels, Ducks, And Cake Relieve Anger

Ducks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn’t think they’re connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionary delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar roses. Yum! As tempting as it may sound to consume a sugary treat when angry that’s actually not what I’m suggesting. Let me explain.
Anger is a feeling of powerlessness. Feeling helpless makes us feel weak and vulnerable. In an attempt to protect ourselves from harm, we may respond by becoming defensive. Anger, regardless of how it is used, is a very powerful force and momentarily satisfies that need. In those incidences where anger actually manifests we need techniques, comparable to the SWaT Strategy*, to quickly and effectively manage it. However, there are occurrences where anger does not manifest yet the situation still garners our attention.

How, then, can we can prevent ourselves from using anger as a response in any given situation?

1. Dead as a Doorbell: How many of you remember door-to-door salesman? They would climb the steps of your front porch, ring the bell, and once you answered try to convince you that what they were selling was exactly what you needed. Sometimes, the homeowner would surrender and spend money on something they may not have wanted, only to become angry and dismayed at the salesman for the intrusion into their domain or for not being strong enough to resist their pitch. One solution could be to simply ignored the persistent, annoying buzzer or another is to disconnect the doorbell entirely. In that way, the salesperson could press the buzzer for eternity and elicit no transaction. The homeowner does not react because they are disengaged from the actions of the salesman. One can train themselves to remain emotionally detached (not unlike doctors in an ER) and not react to an otherwise annoying or bothersome situation.

2. The Great Duck and Dishtowel Debate: Get a large bowl. In it, place a washcloth and a small rubber duck. Pour water (which represents life experiences) over both and observe what happens. The dishcloth absorbs the water and it’s added weight causes it to sink to the bottom of the bowl. The duck, on the other hand, allows the water to roll off it’s back, thereby staying afloat. In life, we choose to absorb our experiences increasing the risk of drowning in our own anger. Or we can mimic a duck and stay afloat by allowing them to simply roll off our backs. Simple image, powerful message.

Now on to the cake:
3. The Big Birthday Blowout: The next time you feel anger begin to emerge, take a moment and stop what you are doing. Imagine it’s your birthday. Envision the birthday cake of your dreams down to the smallest detail. Place the appropriate number of candles on the cake. In your mind, light each one. Then, take a deep breath, hold it, and before exhaling, sing (to yourself) the Happy Birthday song. Mentally blow out one candle. Repeat until each wax decoration is extinguished. Depending on your age, you may hyperventilate and pass out before you’ve completed this assignment (if you’re as old as I am!). So you may want to substitute a child or grandchild’s age for safety reasons. In any event, by the time all of the candles are snuffed out, you will have either 1) forgotten what you were upset about, 2) put it into perspective and realized it’s lack of significance, or 3) become too exhausted to deal with it. Either way, you’ve prevented a melt-down and a potentially unfavorable outcome. The situation can always be addressed at a later date when you have given yourself ample time to think things through logically and unemotionally.

Having struggled most of my life with anger, (from suppressing it to raging, back to suppressing, and finally finding peace with my surroundings) I realized that 99.99% of what we get upset about has relatively little importance. Address what you must, ignore what is trivial, accept that which you cannot nor or must not change, save the anger for the really big stuff (which is almost nil) and be at peace with the outcome. You’ll enjoy life a whole lot more.

*SWaT Strategy from The Secret Side of Anger , order your copy below
Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html
Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://www.iheart.com/talk/show/53-Anger-911-Radio/
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January Jones – Trust The Journey

January Jones-Trust the Journey

January Jones welcomes Tom Ingrassia and Jared Chrudimsky co-author’s of When One Door Closes: Overcoming Adversity By Following Your Dreams sharing true life stories of people who have overcome insurmountable obstacles in order to live their dreams. Today’s interview will be with Shandirai Mawokomatanda entitled Trust The Journey dealing with molestation and low self-esteem.

January Jones welcomes  Tom Ingrassia “The Motown Historian” 

Meet Tom Ingrassia

Tom Ingrassia is a motivational speaker, writer and Motown historian. In 2001, Tom left a successful, 25-year career in higher education to pursue his lifelong dream of working in the entertainment industry, with the formation of Ingrassia Productions and Artist Management. Along the way, he had the opportunity to work with many of the legendary singers he grew up listening to and idolizing in the 1960s, including Arlene Smith (The Chantels), Barbara Alston (The Crystals), June Monteiro (The Toys), The Velvelettes, and Carl Gardner (The Coasters).  The highlight, however, was serving as Executive Assistant and Creative Director for Mary Wilson, of The Supremes, from 2001-05.

MA Motown Historian

Photo by Scott Erb Photography

Today, Tom is president of The MotivAct Group LLC, offering holistic personal and professional development programs designed to guide his audiences to live into their dreams. An in-demand speaker, Tom travels the country with his motivational/goal setting program, “Mental Massage®” and “Making A Difference Begins With YOU…So Live Into Your Dreams,” and pop culture programs, “Motown and The Civil Rights Movement” and “Girl Power: The Supremes As Cultural Icons.”

An accomplished music journalist, Tom has more than 25 articles printed in publications ranging from Billboard, Worcester Business JournalSpirit of Change,Goldmine, and Record Auction Monthly, to Soul Survivor and San Francisco Hot Ticket. In 2007, Tom collaborated with Barbara Alston (of The Crystals) on her autobiography, “There’s No Other,” and Carl Gardner’s (of The Coasters) autobiography, “Yakey Yak, I Fought Back.”

Tom Ingrassiawith Mary Wilson and Barbara Ingrassia

Tom & Barbara Ingrassia with Mary Wilson at Boston’s Fleet Center, 1997. Photo courtesy Thomas Ingrassia Collection.

Tom has been a consultant to a number of entertainment and media outlets, including The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Vocal Group Hall of Fame, WCVB-TV (Boston), WBZ-TV (Boston), WHDH-TV, (Boston), and WXYZ-TV (Detroit). He has appeared on television and radio shows around the country, including “New England Newsmakers,” “Audio Journal,” “The January Jones Show,” “Ramona Interviews,” “The Boomer and The Babe,” and “Soapbox.” In 2002 and 2004, he worked closely with The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum to coordinate The Legendary Girl Groups Commemorative Stamps unveiling ceremony, and “Reflections: The Mary Wilson Supremes Gown Collection.”

Memorabilia from the Thomas Ingrassia Collection has been exhibited at the Whitley Gallery (Los Angeles), Barbican Centre (London), Lockhart Gallery (Geneseo, NY), Albany Institute of Art and History, the LBJ Presidential Library and Museum (Austin).

Berea College poster

Courtesy Berea College

Tom’s speaking engagements have included the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity, Hanover Theatre for the Performing Arts, Worcester Art Museum, Berea College Distinguished Speaker Series, Alice Lloyd College, Albany Institute of Art and History, State University of New York, the Long Island Museum, Cape Cod Community College, Worcester Public Library, Jacob Edwards Library, North Shore Community College, Northern Essex Community College, Massasoit Community College, Worcester State University, Leominster Public Library, Worcester Institute for Senior Education, and the Valencia Men’s Club.

Prior to entering the entertainment industry in 2001, Tom spent 25 years in higher education and private industry, achieving the position of assistant dean of the Graduate School of Management at Clark University. He also has been affiliated with Assumption College, Regis College, Urbana College, West Virginia Northern Community College, and the State Mutual Companies. Tom earned his bachelor of arts degree in history from the State University of New York at Geneseo. He holds a master of arts degree in history from  the University of Connecticut.

Tom lives by the motto, “Learn from the turtle—it only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.”

The MotivAct Group

Motivate to Activate Your True Potential (tm)

Are you eager to develop a roadmap to guide you from where you are today to where you want to be?

Will this be the year when everything falls into place, just the way you envisioned it?

Are you searching for a vehicle to break through the roadblocks and detours that have sidetracked you on life’s highway?

We’re the MotivAct Group. Our holistic approach to personal and professional development has helped clients from all walks of life overcome formerly intractable obstacles as they pursue their personal and professional goals. And we’re confident we can help you.

“Marketing With A Heart” with author Ben Gioia on The Nancy Ferrari Show

Tune into The Nancy Ferrari Show on Tuesday, October 28th, 10:00 am PT/1:00 pm ET airing live on www.W4CY.com and www.K4HD.com as my featured guest is Ben Gioia is the premier speaker, author, coach, and authority on marketing, selling, and service.
Ben Gioia is the President and Founder of Marketing With A Heart™.   According to Ben, the most effective methods of marketing, selling, and leadership are based on service…if you have the right intention and what you’re offering will make a difference in people’s lives. Marketing With a Heart™ is a system, strategy, and philosophy based on authentic communication, high integrity, leadership, and service.  Marketing With a Heart™ puts an end to unsustainable approaches to marketing, selling, and making money. It offers a new bottom line for business—people, purpose, and profit—which creates sustainable, long-term success and personal fulfillment.
Ben is the author of  “Marketing With A Heart: How To Use Trust Based Marketing For Greater Income, Influence, And Impact”.
His book offers revolutionary perspectives on marketing, selling, leadership, communication, and running your business in alignment with your principles…thereby creating a fulfilled and joyful life.
Ben delivers keynote speeches and trainings for entrepreneurs, thought leaders, professional associations, and organizations around the country, around the world, and on the web.  Onstage and online, Ben inspires and energizes his audience. He invites them to use the principles of Marketing With a Heart™ to create greater income, influence, and impact in the world. And to have more fun while doing it!
At last count, Ben has worked with three nonprofits, seven startups, and produced three magazines (published by Hearst and Condé Nast). He was a key member of the team that launched both My Generation and AARP The Magazine (circulation 35 million).
Before the first person was drenched and shivering from The Ice Bucket Challenge, Ben did marketing and patient services for The ALS Association (Lou Gehrig’s disease) in the San Francisco Bay Area.
He also helped execute an organizational consolidation between the Bay Area and Los Angeles Chapters. This led to greater revenue, improved patient services delivery (covering half the state of California), and a more efficient organizational structure.
Ben weaves his amazing life story into what he teaches. Almost dying five times in 72 hours (while traveling in India) completely changed his outlook on life and crystallized his desire to make a positive impact in the world.
When he got back to the US, he soon became a hospice volunteer. Then he created and launched Marketing With A Heart™.
Ben helps successful entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders communicate the right way so they can create greater income, influence, and impact in the world.

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